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Dear Sir

I contact you because I have observed a sharp decline in the turnover of Happy Meals in particular from my restaurants in the southern part of London

The picture is the same in all the restaurants. Fewer mothers with children visit my restaurants and I have also noticed a decline in the number of birthday celebrations pr. Mont.

I therefore find it necessary that an effort is being made to improve the turnover. I have considered contacting a number of the large schools in the area to offer the service of delivering pre packed meals to the 5 to 10 year olds, once or twice a week at a favourable price. Such an offer would not only create attention for the McDonald’s chain but also create larger surface of contact and hopefully enhance future customer loyalty.

I would like to request your company feedback on the above mentioned initiative and if you have any suggestions as to hove we can improve our turnover or any other good ideas for the further marketing, I should verymuch like to hear about it.

Yours Sincerely

Mont=month

Lige et par kommentarer:

Start med "Dear Sirs", altså flertal. Slut med "Yours faithfully". Det er ikke et spørgsmål om stil eller smag. Sådan gør man bare i forretningsbreve.

Oversættelsen er ikke helt tro mod kildeteksten, men det må være op til dig selv at afgøre, om du vil stå inde for den.

"pr." bør være "per"
"hove" skal være "how"
"verymuch" skal være "very much".
"... create a larger surface....."

Der er flere småting undervejs, der godt kunne diskuteres, men ikke noget meningsforstyrrende.