hmmmmmmmmmmm fucker jubii....................allerede for et år siden lavede jeg og nogle andre på cs.net-forumet denne detaljerede symptom-beskrivelse:
You wish you could turn down the gamma on that big fire thing outside( if you ever go out there)
Never turn door knobs, you just walk into doors, and when it fails to open you curse the son of a bitch that must be camping on the other side.
You run around work/home/school waving a knife because you think it will make you run faster.
You consider \"the dark ages\" to be the time before CS beta 1\'s release
While walking around corners in your home, you strafe.
The police show up to your house and toss a flashbang in, so you turn your back. Foolish cops.....
You are on your way to the hardware store to buy more RAM, when a mugger attacks you, and you call him a \"stupid camper\"
When you get home you go in through the window in case someones guarding the door.
You actually refrain from talking while playing because \"they might hear you\".
You attempt to crouch when climbing up ladders and holding a rifle, resulting in a fall that should only take 50% of your health, but knocks you out cold.
When fighting someone you crouch for better aim
You bunny hop to the fridge for snacks in between rounds because you\'re convinced it\'s faster.
You point your pen at co-workers wishing it would say whether they are friends or enemies. And how much life they have left.
To be able to sleep you have to hear a few radio messages every minute or so
At school you feel the nagging urge to drag your proffessors to the hostage rescue area.
Your typing speed have gone way better.
Run up to people wearing white and fanaticly try to press them, mumbling about hostage rescue point.
There is a bomb at your work and you suggest that if you bring your key board over and hold \"E\" abd crouch, it will be gone in 10 seconds
When people cant hit the bad guys in movies you presume they cant lag-shoot or are a bunch of newbees
If a co-worker is stareing off into space you run about and slash him with your knife a few times to make sure hes not \"afk\"
Your able to hit any terrorist camping spot on assualt (The one with the warehouse and vent) with a desert eagle through the walls from the counter terrorist spawn point.
Any one sitting still at work for 5 minutes gets called a camper.
And they look at you and wonder what your on about so you call them a newbie lamer.
you have a picture of cliffe on you ceiling
Every ventilation grate looks like something you\'d like to break into.
If someone beats you in basketball you accuse them of using an aimbot.
When you take a break at work you hollar \"cover me!\" to your coworkers.
The camera shutter click at your family reunion has you diving behind the couch to keep from being sniped.
Whenever you\'re in a situation you wish you weren\'t in you think TEAM FALLBACK.
Puts off cleaning room to play CS.
You have to apply oil to the roller ball in your mouse every 5 minutes
You don\'t even need to check your ammo since, by hearing, you know how many bullets have flown...
You type faster than you talk
There is a piece of tape in the middle of your monitor, right now, because you HATE those new crosshairs and you\'ve made your own!
Broken limbs are good you get to stay home and play ... CS.
Any loud, unsuspected noise around you is accompanied by you shouting, \"taking fire, need assistance!\"
You are whiter than casper the ghost
You go from a $18/month dialup to $60/month cable \"so your wife/girlfriend can check her email quicker\"
You avoid standing still in front of open windows.
When ever you start sending an e-mail, you type y to start, so all your sentances start yhello or yhi there.
You joined a islamitic terrorist fraction and told them to buy glocks and ak47 and to get rid of the colts \"because only the CT\'s can have those\"
In your room instead of posters of sports figures and hot girls you have your favorite CS moments(screenshots)
You are playing Chess, and when someone takes one of your pieces, you yell \"THAT WAS ALL PING\" or \"LAG KILL\".
You made a special keyboard-like device for your feet, which maps to joystick buttons and unused keyboard scancodes, because you didn\'t have enough spaces for your scripts
You don\'t understand why ppl are complaining about new ammo rules... you always go out with 6 grenades and as many magazines you can carry.... which explains you are in jail now...
Call your boss the V.I.P., and if he makes you mad at work, you tell him your gonna switch to Ts and assasinate his llama a**.
When u are l8te for work you blame it on lag spikes
You type talk while playing.
You cry when you are killed
You buy the other team\'s pistol, and single-handedly kill every one of them with it without taking a single shot, and with a 700 ping
Dinner table is a chair next to PC.
Wearing your playing clothes.
When people get in your way you tend to shout \"GO! GO! GO!\"
You have 2 dozen \"Radio Commands\" you use while at work, and refuse to communicate with any other phrases because \"typing them takes to long\"
You know all the other players, and their average kill scores.
Your idea of checking the days news is reading the CS-forums.
you try to use a knife and cut your finger, DAMMIT THEY REALLY SHOULD DO SMTHING ABOUT THIS NEW CROSSHAIR...
You check the surface of a door to make sure there are no gun barrerls poking through it prior to entering.
Every single key is bound.
Wonder if jumping off a roof would only half kill you, and then trying it.
You are MORE dangerous as the VIP.
You have the most amazing idea for a level. You could quite easily code it. It would be the best level ever. But you\'re too busy playing CS to find the time.
You tell your friends and co-workers how you kicked ass on CS last night and they can\'t figure out what the hell your talking about.
You learned ur dog to open the door, pay the pizzaman and bring the pizza to the computer...
When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, you jump out of bed, crouch down on it, and hurriedly try to disarm
You open a can of jolt cola and think its a FB.
Your idea of a good cut down is calling someone a \"llama\" or \"camper\".
You did a school project on the weapons and tactics of CS.
You got an A+ on the report and your teacher knew exactly what you were talking about
Refuse to answer your parents by anything but your CS name
You have one of those blast horns (the kind from basketball games) that you fire off every time you kill someone.
Halfway to work you double back and go the alternate route in case you were being followed.
Other players tell you to shutup with the RADIO already.
You have achieved YODA like mind capabilities and can play while sitting 5 ft. from computer with hands and feet tied behind your back
When kid brings gun to school you decide you could do some strafe jumping, take a few bullets, and eventually get to them
Anyone in khaki pants and a green shirt is automatically off your Christmas list.
You have CS dreams
You take your girlfriend to a computer and realize that she knows the game tooo well, you really must have talked of it too often...
Your A,W,S,D keys are so worn out that you hand paint the letters on the keyboard.
Every building you walk into you think about how cool of a CS map it would be.
At the Naval Accademy when your room mates complain about you being up so late and they have a test tomorrow your excuse is that its part of your SEAL training.
You go outside to go to this place called \"Work\" and you are bewildered by that blazing orb in the sky and the fact that your car can move.
Any bolt-action sniper rifle which doesnt look like an awp is a steyr scout
You correct people when they confuse machine gun with sub-machine gun or rifle
Ur girlfriend(if u really do have one) starts 2 play CS just so she can spend sumtime with u
Halfway thru your girl givin you head you scream got out of there its gunna blow.
You spin around and walk backwards from time to time when following long hallways.
If you meet a girl, u say \"my dick is as large as an AWP please can i shoot you...\"
when she slaps u in the face u scream \"HEADSHOT\"
Ur demanding the gunmanufacturer to bring out a glock with a sniperscoop...
You speak of it most of the time, and when ppl ask you what you are talking of, you have a look of disdain at those who could not stand a suppressive fire
You get a raise at work, and are so proud of your accomplishment that you whip at your spray can and promptly spray paint your logo on the wall for your boss to see.
Your kill count is higher than your ping.
Your ping is 1000.
You cannot walk in the street without checking any shadowy area...I\'ll have this camper...
You flame the crap out of the supersoaker manufacturers because their latest gun is too accurate.
Your eyes hurt everytime you look out off the window into the DAYLIGHT *AAAAAAARGGGG* daylight....
Phone, pens, paper, glasses have a new shelf in front of ... the PC.
You have a 1TB RAID array, but you only use it for collecting maps and CS server logs
At the thoguht of getting cable, good ping on counter-strike comes before the thought of streaming porn
You sit thinking how easy it would be to tk your boss, even if it means missing the next day of work as a penalty.
You are strangely drawn toward open manholes.
Your Entire clan is in your Social Studies class and instead of taking notes you all sit in the back and come up with tonights plans for your clan match.
U can \'feel\' when ur ping is getting higher
You realize you well know how to defend your room if case happens...
30/10 is not a talking point anymore.
You spend all day at work reading CS forums(becuase you are not allowed to play games at work)
You are on your third keyboard, the others got worn out (unless you can use onme without W,A,S,D).
You might have been playing CS too long if your legs fell off, and you didn\'t NOTICE!!!!
You upgrade your pc to a p3 1000 with 512 ram and sum hi-end graphic designer card just to play counter-strike
Your eyes bleed.
When someone threatens you and says they could kick your ass, you ask them for the IP
When ever in a movie someone is shot in the head you yell \"HEADSHOT\" !@#
You start to wonder if you could make a full size game in a nuclear site...
You observe really good sniping locations in building windows and rooftops while walking down the street.
You won\'t quit playing CS to eat(even if the food is next to you)
You dream about new stratagies and spend all night thinking of better places to camp on your fav. map.
You affectionately refer to Gooseman as \"family\".
YOu celebrate Cliffe and Goosemans Biirthdays
You jump on TFC for some nostalgia and take out an entire team of HW guys with 3 EMP grenades.
While on TFC you make fun of the snipers for being to F\'n slow and why don\'t they get some skill!
You win Q3 in a raffle and trade it in on a new mouse pad and a credit towards TFC2
Your taking crap and you scream out \"Fire in the Hole!\"
Doesnt feel tired so waking up for work will be ok. NOT.
When you\'re in your clans Roger Wilco channel and no one is there...you feel lonely.
There is mold between your hand and your mouse.
Your insults include: llamas - newbie - HPB - lagger - 56ker - sheepf**ker - assface - RzE - goldfish - assmaster - or crotch waffle - and others
You put off going out because of a \"Tournament with friends\" but your Real friends don\'t know what the fvck you\'re talking about.
You jump around corners
When flushing that bowel movement you duck and cover in case it explodes ala CS_Militia.
You can point out a S.W.A.T. team\'s mistakes on a video
You catch yourself scanning the softdrink isle at the supermarket looking for \"Pop Dog\"
Your wife asked to spend more time with her, so now she is in controle of the reload button.
You give up deer and elk hunting until you can find a place to buy a AWP and NVG.
You find yourself talking to people who shoot real guns and they actually think you know what you\'re talking about.
You hopelessly try to recruit other folks at work just so you have someone to talk CS with while working.
You have a shrine built for Gooseman, and you sacrafice a mouse in front of it for every new map rotation.
Laugh to yourself in the middle of anything about that CT you saw get blown halfway to hell defusing a C4 bomb.
You dream wierd stuff when asleep such as raiding banks, and schools.
Think of the stupid things the newbies did on your server.
You buy a new mouse thats cost you cannot justify to the girlfriend, yet you feel will improve your kill ratio 100% (I didn\'t even bother trying, just lied about the cost).
After getting fired from ur job the 1st thing u think of is \"o well @least i can play CS all day now\"
U try 2 hold a conversation with ur clan mates using radio commands only
U r lookin 4ward 2 the new beta comming out more than ur b\'day
Think of better ways to use the MP5, and the AK, and the AUG, and the Glock, and so on and so on.
You know what kind of a gun it is whenever you see one
When you actually watch TV you can identify weapons on shows MUCH too accurately, sometimes just by the SOUND, and are critical of the tactics used.
You are talking to friendfs, and instead of laughing you actually say LOL.
On a FF-enabled server, when your oppenents see you log on, they immidiatly mutiny and kill each other, rather than face fighting you.
The lettering on your \"W,S,A,D\" keys is barely visible.
You can\'t watch a movie with guns in it without backing up the tape to see if that really was an mp5.
Part of your resume are your best screen shots.
You told your wife ur going to devorce her when CS includes female models...
You carry a knife with you on your PE runs
SHE says she wants to do it and you say \"Not tonight dear, I have a headache\"... then go sneak off to play CS.
There is a shadow of you that is permanantly cast behind the monitor (Radiation shadow).
You think CS would make a fine sitcom
Wonder what it would be like to attack and kill hostages without and repercussions aside from a small fine.
You write all your school papers in hacker talk
Sleep is irrelevant
You double check the airplane to make sure it has engines before you board it.
You record some of your games, and load them into your MP3 player for nostalgia
Get pissed about the guy who you think might have been cheating and write \"death promises\" to him in a notebook
You spend to much time reading on the CS forums.
U wonder if the Radio Command voices are Cliffe or Gooseman, and try to come up with cool ways to figure it out.
You try to buy all your grocieries in uder 60 seconds
Your phone bill is the exact replic of your salary...
Tactics you see in movies are desperately bound to fail, so the movie is not an interest anymore... Too bad I have to get back to my computer...
While watching a movie, any silver pistol you see you\'ll presume its a desert eagle
You have the SAME UBB ID on numerous boards so the IE5 AutoComplete feature only has 1 entry, but works for 5 boards.
U cancel dates with girls coz u have a clan match on
You spend more time on you computer than anywhere else
When you bring your own configs macros and binds to the local cyber cafe and have them install it, because it took you
3 months to make those damn configs, and you can kick ass with them.
Posted next to your comp you have a list of \"Suckers\" that you have marked as mortal enemies.....and the list is four pages long
When talking to co-workers about the company internet/intranet and it\'s painfully slow speeds you blurt out \"My cable modem at home rocks, I get a silly ping on some local servers\"
Call your friends team mates
You play CS within 30mins after you get out of school
You actually know what people mean when they refer to their \"l337 skillz\".
You pretend to shoot your friends when you see them
Your friends do the same to you
When someone beats you on a test you yell \"Bull****\" I nailed him.
In movies no longer are guns called machine guns, they\'re called mp5\'s
You eat dinner between rounds.
You can\'t understand why anyone could live with a 56K modem
You know very kind of bullet every gun uses and knows the random damage of each gun
All your friends play counter-strike
You work at a help desk and you have made many \"NEW FRIENDS\" after you have started playing CS.
Have everything near you set up in the most effiecent manner so drinks and pens and paper are all in easy reach in case you need one mid-play.
You play CS for 12 straight hours and you have sex with your girlfriend when she gets home from work and you holler out \"need backup!\"
You constently think about CS while your at work or school thinking of new CS tactics.
You dump $2000 into a gaming machine just for a FREE MOD
http://bbs.counter-strike.net/Forum1/HTML/020045.htmlYou bring you girlfriend to your house and have a \"tournament\" with her
You goto work and observe the rooftops on the buildings for a good sniper spot.
Your only friends are on the same server every night.
You try to make sentences out of radio commands.
U get a loan from the bank 2 start a multi gamer shop with 20 puters in 2 rooms, dedcated 2 playin CS
You tell your non smoking girlfriend the reason you play CS so much is that it\'s helping you quit smoking (the less you die the less you smoke)
You have a link right to these and other CS forums within 1 to 2 mouse clicks.
You have playing gloves
You eat,smoke and drink in between 30 min CS matches.
You are on the phone with ur cousin on friday becuase he is on the same server, and when he u die, u tell each other where are the campers are(so u can whack em)
You skip school or play hooky from work to get in some much needed CS playing time.
You make excusess to stay home from school or work
Your military friend is amazed at ur rising IQ.
You design your own spraypaint logo.
You suck in CS so u change ur user name, therefore u have to change your AOL ids.(so u can boast about the only kills u get with ur AOLers.
Taking notes in history when you catch yourself drawing pictures of stick figures sniping other stick figures(quilty)
You\'ve deleted everything else from your HD so you can max out your FPS and ping.
You try to instruct ur little brother how to fight the Oldrer brother by using Radio commands, Fall back, GOGOGOG, Get outa there its gonna blow
You are learning to cuss in french and Danish.
